I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
