when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Come share oat with me in your robe
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
