I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
