the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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