hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
