So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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