the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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