think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
