This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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