Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
