You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
