having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
