She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize