But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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