i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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