my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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