Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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