No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
