He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
