apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
