she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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