Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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