you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
how does that bad decision feel?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize