saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
