A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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