This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
