were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize