I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's the barista slut.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize