She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize