nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
