she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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