Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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