Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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