tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
