I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
