So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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