I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize