I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My ass is underappreciated
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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