i think my tv is drunk
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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