I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
