What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
