and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
