mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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