That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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