i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
