I would go down on you faster than GM stock
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
