Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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