How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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