If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this just has baby written all over it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
