I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
