Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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