OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
