I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
