angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
