I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
