Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
