Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
