He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
