White coat. Heels.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
