She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
