I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
